Do 'We See' What the Problem Is?

I read the screenplay for the newish movie "Send Help" and it virtually screams for help.

Written by Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, "Send Help" is a fast-paced, action-packed read. I didn't see the movie when it came out earlier this year, but the writing was strong enough that I could see it play out when reading. That's what you want with your writing: to visualize events on the page.

What is somewhat mind-blowing about the script is the writers' consistent use of the phrase "We see". We're told it's a big no-no, don't go there. Yet you'll find the words "we see" in more produced scripts.

The argument against such phrasing is it takes you out of the action and reminds you that you are, in fact, reading a script. Such phrasing creates the negative side-effect that you are observing action from a distance rather than "experiencing" it firsthand with the protagonist.

I tend to agree and believe the writers could easily have reworded the script to avoid the "we see-isms." There's even a line in the script where they write, "Our heart breaks for her." Just flat-out telling the reader how to feel. In another instance, the writers include this: "We see real fear behind her eyes. And for the first time, we feel just a touch of wariness about Linda too." And in a third example, they write: "We wonder what she's doing."

Each instance works, but it seems a bit like banging the reader over the head. I would rather write in such a way that how you feel rises organically.

I don't think you have to avoid such phrasing entirely. Scripts like "Send Help" prove the technique can work. But, at the very least, I believe less is more. I think using such phrasing likely works best when it's kept to a minimum and serves to emphasize something important. And, perhaps more importantly, it can go a long way to defining your voice on the page (but that's for another blog).

Chime in below with your thoughts and comments. And, as always, just keep writing!

Read the script here: https://bit.ly/4cYQuaP